Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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