every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
