remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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