So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You can't motorboat a personality
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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