Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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