is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
