garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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