is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
