it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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