I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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