new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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