Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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