had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
