And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
