loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize