How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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