She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
