She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize