I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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