Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
