ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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