So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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