gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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