But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
