k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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