Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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