At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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