I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
