just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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