guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
