Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
