Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
