hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I believe in your delicious
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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