I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
