Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
