Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize