you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
