i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
