Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
