they need to just BURY HIM!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
