We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
