so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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