Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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