I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
