we're blogging at a bar
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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