So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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