using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
