My nipple is on Facebook.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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