even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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