Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
