1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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