Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
