i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
