I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
