Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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