there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize