Is it normal to miss your booty call?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
