Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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