Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
