i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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